[Title screen with words: How Tall is a Tree? followed by a man, a woman, a man, and a woman appearing on screen with the word “word” in a speech bubble next to their heads. A female supervisor then appears on screen together with a man, a woman, and a man—her employees. The supervisor has a red triangle in a speech bubble next to her head, and the employees appear with different colors of triangles in a speech bubble next to their heads.]

Roger McCarty: We often think we know what someone is talking about because we know the meaning of the words they are using. But in reality, each of us has our own background understanding and culture that colors the definition of the words and phrases used by others. So when others give us directions, we often have a different picture in our minds than they do.

[The female supervisor appears on screen with her three employees—a woman and two men. An email then appears on screen with the a request for employees to bring a rope being typed.]

Let’s look at the example of a boss and her employees preparing for a business presentation where they intend to have an object lesson. During the presentation, the boss sends out an email to three members of the team and asks them to be sure that they bring a rope to the meeting tomorrow that is as tall as a tree. She warns them not to bring too much rope, just enough to go to the top of a tree.

[Each of the three employees appear on screen with a picture of how long each of them thinks the rope should be appearing over their heads. The pictures change to the logos of the stores each employee visits to purchase rope. The pictures change again to show each employee’s rope and the length of each rope in feet.]

Each person thought the boss wanted them to bring the rope, so each one of them went to get a rope. One went to Home Depot, one to Lowe’s, and a third to Walmart. At the meeting the next morning, each employee showed up with their ropes. The first employee, Roger, had a pile of rope measuring 150 feet long. Kaileah had a 30-foot rope, and Akisado had a one-foot rope.

[The employees and their ropes move to the right of the screen and the supervisor appears on the left with question and exclamation marks over her head.]

When the boss saw these three different ropes, she was angry and asked why their ropes were those lengths.

[Each employee appears on screen with words, numbers, and images describing where they grew up, the types of trees that grew there, and how tall the trees were.]

Roger said he grew up on the Oregon coast, and the trees were redwoods and Douglas firs that were 100 to 200 feet tall. He had gotten the right length of rope. Kaileah said she was born on the island of Tonga, and most of the trees were coconut trees about 30 feet tall. She had gotten the right length of rope also. Akisado was from Japan, and he grew and cultured Bonsai trees, which were seldom taller than 1 foot. He believed that he had gotten the right length of rope.

[The boss appears on screen with words, numbers, and images describing where she grew up, the types of trees that grew there, and how tall the trees were.]

The boss said, "Are you guys crazy? I grew up in New York City, and about the only tree I ever saw was a Christmas tree, and they are about seven feet tall, and that’s the length I wanted."

[The other three employees appear on the screen with the boss.]

None of the three employees got the length of rope desired by the boss. Were they wrong? Was the boss wrong for not being more explicit?

[The words car, activity, tree, home, and food appear on screen in different colored speech bubbles.]

The reality is that we all use words every day that have many possible meanings based on our different backgrounds and situations in which we find ourselves.

[A clarification box with gears which symbolizes the process for understanding business requirements appears. The word understanding enters the box, moves through the gears, and exits the other side.]

You must have a process for restating business requirements in a way that allows us to check for understanding.

[The supervisor and her employees appear seated at a table with the image of the different trees they envisioned earlier appearing near their heads in a bubble with a question mark. The supervisor’s tree reappears with an exclamation next to it. Then, the same tree appears in a bubble near each of her employees’ heads, and they show a thumbs up sign to indicate they all understand and agree.]

Never assume you understand what you were asked or told without requesting clarification and giving feedback to check for understanding. We can never assume we are thinking the same thing based on the initial statement.

Speaker 1: Not sure where your team is heading? Wonder what will be waiting for you when you get there? Sounds like you might just be on the Bus to Abilene. Here’s how to recognize if you’re on that Bus and how to get it turned in the right direction.

The Abilene paradox was an idea introduced by management expert Jerry B. Harvey in 1974. It goes like this: One hot summer afternoon in Coleman, Texas, a family is playing dominoes on the porch when the father-in-law proposes that they all take a trip to Abilene for dinner, 53 miles away. One after another, the other members of the family agree that it sounds like a good idea, even though none of them actually thinks the idea is very appealing. But they agree because they think everyone else wants to go, and they don’t want to upset the group. The ride to Abilene is long, hot, and dusty. At the cafeteria, the food is as bad as the drive was. Hours later, they return home, exhausted. Someone comments, “It was a great trip, wasn’t it?” but the Mother-in-Law is honest and says that she really would rather have stayed at home. All the others admit that they felt the same way, too. They look at each other, stunned at how they had agreed to take a trip that no one really wanted to go on. The power that a social group has over the individual can be very strong. In the Abilene paradox, we can see how people will often go along with something they don’t necessarily agree with because they want to be seen as part of the group. No one wants to be the one to “rock the boat.” Doing what each thought the group wanted to do took a higher priority over what each individual thought best. In the end, they all paid for it with a long dusty, meaningless trip in the hot Texas sun.

I have nothing against the good people of Abilene, but how do you prevent an unnecessary visit? It’s a matter of the environment you establish as a leader. When you are putting your plan together, if you place heavy emphasis on conformity, on forcing agreement, and crushing opposing points of view, you may think you are achieving unanimity, but you may end up paying a price. As a leader in the planning stage, it’s those dissenting opinions that you need most. The strength and creativity of a group come in part from its diversity. If everyone is thinking the same way, you will miss hidden opportunities and creative solutions. Instead, you’ll end up on the bus. People on your team need to feel comfortable enough to say that they don’t think something is a good idea and explain why, without fear of being rejected by the group. So seek diversity on your team; encourage discussion and debate during the planning stage, and thank those who are willing to speak up. If everyone is agreeable, get suspicious and ask harder questions. Once the decision is made, then it is time for everyone to pull together with all they have, but until then, there is strength in disunity.

Thanks for listening, and if you liked this video, there are lots more free videos, blog posts, and resources over at RapidStartLeadership.com where we try to “Accelerate the Leader to Excellence” by making the learning curve a little less steep. Check it out now, and I’ll see you next time.